I watched a documentary this afternoon called Forgiving Dr. Mengele. It was about a woman named Eva Kor who, along with her twin sister Miriam, had been "patients" of Dr. Mengele in Auschwitz death camp. It was a touching, inspiring movie and if you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you do.

The basic premise of the movie was that Eva had experienced horrors unimaginable as a child as well as the loss of her entire family except her sister at the hands of the Nazis. (The two of them managed to survive the death camp and were actually caught on videotape as the Russians liberated her camp.) Eva's pain was tearing her soul apart and she had to find some way to heal herself. She also was in search of some way to heal the damage the Nazi doctors had done to her sister. Miriam had been injected with a substance that caused her kidneys to stop growing at age 10. Her current doctors thought if they could find out what she was injected with, they might be able to counteract its effects. Eva's search led her to a Dr Munch who had been a colleague of Mengele but who had been acquitted in Nuremberg of war crimes. She met with him and after a series of conversations, decided to not only forgive Dr Munch of any injury he had caused anyone but to also extend that forgiveness to all Nazis including Mengele who had done such damage to her and her sister.

Eva is quite the crusader for forgiveness. She lectures around the country telling her story. She opened up a Holocaust Memorial Museum in Terre Haute, IN where she lives. She speaks to school groups about her ordeal. She's traveled to Auschwitz every decade for the last 30 years for the anniversary of the liberation of the camp. She even read her statement of forgiveness at the site of a crematorium in Auschwitz which was quite controversial in the world of Holocaust survivors. She spends a great deal of her time defending her act of forgiveness.

What I found most compelling about the documentary was the question "What does forgiveness mean?" For Eva, forgiveness means not letting what happened to her rule her life. It means not letting hate eat her soul. It means accepting what happened to her and her family and moving on with her life. Many of the survivors think that forgiveness means forgetting. They think it means pretending nothing happened to them. One man made the comparison of forgiving one's child. He said that when your child does something wrong and you forgive him, you act as if nothing ever happened. He said he'd never be able to do this with the Nazis. One thing that really struck me was the sense of peace that surrounded Eva and turmoil that surrounded her detractors.

One of my favorite parables is of the two monks and the woman. Once there were two monks walking down a road. They came to a creek about waist deep that they had to cross. At the bank of the creek stood a woman dressed in fine clothing. She didn't want to ruin her dress so she asked the monks if one of them could carry her across. The first monk hoisted her on his shoulders and the three of them crossed. On the other side, the monk let the woman down, bid her a good day, and off the monks went. Several hours of silent walking later the second monk asked the first monk how he could possibly have touched that woman. He knew their order forbid the touching of women and yet he'd done it anyway. The first monk turned to the second monk and said, "I put that woman down hours ago. You should do the same."

"Put the woman down" has become one of my favorite sayings meaning "Let go of what your hanging on to because it isn't good for you." Eva Kor managed to put down the Nazis. It makes my grudges seem petty.

Although I'm still not ready to put down the bastards who stole our stuff. :P

Shannon and I went into Austin yesterday to see a movie with a friend for her 50th birthday. We were going to go camping at Bastrop State Park afterward so we loaded all our gear in the car and took off. We went to see Paranormal Activity which was pretty disappointing. Afterward, we went across the parking lot to Trudy's for dinner. We had a great time visiting with Pam.

After dinner, she brought us back to our car in the movie theater parking lot. We found the doors unlocked and our stuff missing. The bastards must have popped the lock and they stole all our electronics and our backpacks. At first we thought they stole our tent and sleeping bag but it turns out we forgot to pack them and they were at home.

At least they didn't break the window. I keep saying that but it still sucks big hairy trolloc balls that they took our stuff. They got our Garmin Nuvi gps, mp3 player, and multi-charger from the front of the car. They then uncovered the back and took our backpacks. Inside mine was just clothes but Shannon had her camera inside hers.

The thing that really galls is that the majority of the stuff they took is worthless to them. Stuff like our clothes, that have seen better days, won't get them any money. My asthma medications are worthless as is my grandpa's 40 year AA chip. Shannon's pack had her hiking kit she'd been building for a couple of years. Things like a big machete-like knife, nifty flashlights, and other gear we can replace but it just sucks to have to buy that stuff again. They also got my cool Canadian hat I just loved. And my favorite lounge-around-the-house grungy t-shirt. We think the smart card that had the originals of our honeymoon photos was in the camera bag too. All we have are the cropped ones on the computer.

It's all so very frustrating and maddening to know that the stuff that means the most to us is probably sitting in some stinky dumpster right now. Would that they had only taken the stuff they could hock and left the rest for us. All the way home last night, I was wishing them ass boils and genital warts. I asked Shannon if hoping they overdose and die on the drug money they got for our stuff made me a bad person. She said I probably shouldn't wish that on them but I do hope their dicks fall off. Or they get nose cancer and end up with a giant hole in their face. I'm just so angry and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.

We made a police report and a cop came out to see if he could lift fingerprints. He wasn't able to though. I did have the serial number of my gps online because I had registered it way back when. Hopefully the fuckers will pawn it and get caught. We can hope.

In the meantime, we're looking at how to replace the stuff we lost. I have an iPod around here somewhere that just needs a new headphone jack that Shannon can put all her music on. We should be able to get a new camera through Dell when we buy my laptop later this year. As for the gps, we can't really afford to replace it now and the maps are almost two years old anyway. We made do without it before and will again. At least I have my little handheld if I want to geocache.

I can't replace my grandpa's 40-year sober AA chip or my favorite grungy shirt. Shannon can't replace the stuff she'd had for years that had sentimental value. And we can't have back the safe and secure feeling we had before.

I still hope they choke on it. I just can't help it. Maybe I'll be more forgiving later.

You know how when you don't do something for a long period of time, it gets harder and harder to do said thing? Well, that's what has happened to me and posting in this journal. I just didn't do it for so long that it got too hard. So much has happened in the last eight months I just don't know where to start.

I guess I'll give the short version and then I can expound on topics in further posts if I can.

Moving from Seattle to Marble Falls was pretty anti-climatic. I had hoped to show Shannon all the cool stuff in Texas. As it happened, we either 1) didn't have enough money 2) couldn't get time off work or 3) it was just too fricking hot to do it. This was Shannon's first Texas summer and it was one of the hottest on record. Color her not impressed and me quite uncomfortable for pretty much most of the last six months. It took her six months to get a full time job so money was uber tight. Since I was the only one working most of the time, I couldn't really take time off. So we've done a whole lot of nothing.

We've had some fun. We went to Georgia twice. Once for a wedding and once for a convention and to see friends. We went to Schiltterbahn for my birthday. We went camping in west Texas and got to hang out with my aunt and uncle. We've gotten to spend time with my family here. Oh and I have a baby niece now too so it's been nice getting to know her.

My job here is certainly different from Seattle. I'm a shift supervisor at the Starbucks store here in town. It's busy and stressful but I like it most of the time. We've gone through four managers in the last eight months. That's been fun. ;) I like most everyone I work with so that certainly helps.

Shannon and I got our work visas for New Zealand. She's got a good lead on a job too. I'm pretty sure I can transfer with Starbucks. We're just trying to save enough money to get plane tickets down there. We're shooting for a February time frame. That way, we can be here with the family for Christmas and possibly make it to the Xena convention before we head out. Shannon was looking at airfare today and right now we have just enough for tickets if we sell all my Starbucks stock. But we really don't want to do that unless we have to. We'll see.

One of my internet buddies, Bri Wyman, passed away a few weeks ago. She'd been battling cancer for a few years and it finally got her. She was the same age as me.

The big news I got recently was that my father killed himself. He got really drunk and shot himself in the head. I have more to say about that but I think I'll let it be its own post.

I'm sure there's more but that's all I can manage right now. I want to get back into writing but I need to take baby steps so I don't burn myself out, lol.

More soon.

It was pointed out to me today that I have yet to post that we made it safely to Texas so here is that post. Shannon and I pulled into my parents' driveway around 5am on February 4th. It is a long, long drive from Tuscon to Marble Falls! A long way with not much to look at. But we finally made it, yay!

I started work at the store on Friday the 6th. I really like my store. My co-workers are wonderful and friendly. The customers are great. The only thing that really sucks is the pay. Oh and the hours. I found out that I took a $5/hr pay cut and I'm only getting about 20 hours a week. With Shannon not yet able to get a job, that hurts quite a bit. But it'll all work out. Shannon has been putting in job applications everywhere and I know someone will call soon. We're gonna be just fine.

Also on the home front, I have a new baby niece! She is just the sweetest thing I've ever seen. She's nine days old. My brother is so cute with her. Kind of hard to believe that he's a daddy now but he's really stepped up to the plate.

Speaking of cute, my parents have a calf who's momma died so we've been bottle feeding it. Shannon has taken him on as her pet project. It's so much fun watching her feed the little fella.

Today 300 people got laid off at the Starbucks Support Center in Seattle. I hear there were about 40 in the call center where I used to work. I don't know who all was let go except the five who were on my team. A friend texted me to tell me who was gone. It seems a few were afforded the opportunity to at least email out a goodbye. I have mixed feelings about all this. I'm deeply saddened that some of my previous co-workers were axed and happy that I got out before all this went down. Mostly though, I'm just bummed about the whole thing. I hope everyone will be okay.

And wow, was that different! We went to Lucy's show last night. For those who may not know, Lucy Lawless has been doing stage shows the last few years where she sings covers and wears sexy costumes and totally flirts with the audience. The past shows have been great! Last year, I saw her at the Roxy and she was phenomenal. She sang some great songs. She wore really sexy clothing. She chatted with the audience and was just totally charming. This year, Shannon and I were so looking forward to the show. Lucy had billed it as the Pleasurdome, as sexy and decadent, Catholic school girl gone wrong. You know how you have expectations of what you think something will be and then it turns in to something completely different? Well, that's what this was.

My expectation: Sexy songs, sexy outfits, flirting with the audience. Like last years show only more so.

The reality: A lesbian rock opera with songs most of us didn't know.

Now don't get me wrong, it wasn't a bad show. Lucy's voice and stage presence were awesome as usual. She looked really sexy, at least for the first part. It went downhill from there. The story was about Sappho Warrior Princess, Catholic schoolgirl, who meets Gloria and is led into a world of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. There was no bantering with the audience. Lucy ended up in a full body suit on which she smeared dirt and mud so not so sexy. There was loads of overt sexuality between Lucy and the woman who played Gloria which...I guess I'm just too much of a prude to have enjoyed. It was just...well just way too much. It wasn't really sexy. I felt like I was watching porn. I felt like a voyeur and not in a good way. I paid to see Lucy and instead I saw some weird episode of The L Word.

I think the thing I found most disappointing was that I wanted to see Lucy the woman not Lucy playing a character. I understand she wanted to do something different, spread her wings, expand her repertoire. I just wish it had been a year we couldn't go.

Actually it's halfway through day one. We're in the hotel room right now getting ready for Lucy's show tonight. She requested that we wear something white and/or sparkly. Shannon has a super sexy getup that meets both those requirements. I, on the other hand, have neither. For some odd reason all my clothes are dark even though I like bright, loud, obnoxious colors. Hmmmm, I need to remedy that.

The con has been tons of fun so far. We saw Jennifer Sky Band, Robert Trebor, Steve Sears, and Jacqueline Kim this morning/afternoon. Jennifer Sky Band was quite delightful. She was great with the crowd and really a lot of fun. Robert Trebor, who's name is a palindrome, was also fun but he is certainly full of himself. He mentioned on several occasions how wonderful and talented he is. That may be but it always puts me off when people point that out about themselves a lot. It's just not how I was brought up. Steve Sears was cool, as usual. He's so comfortable with the audience and it really shows. He's dating one of the fangirls from last year, the one who dressed up as Callisto. I want to say something catty about how much younger she is than him but, really, I have no room to talk anymore, lol. That avenue of cattiness is closed to me. Jacqueline Kim was wonderful too. It's obvious that she's not as comfortable in front of people but she was still entertaining. She's very quiet and subdued, much like the character she played in Xena. I can see why they cast her in that part.

Last night we were supposed to do an episode viewing but that kind of fell through. It was cool though. We hung with Aurora Goddess, LK, Van, and Michelle. We did end up watching one of the Widow Twanky episodes since I'd never seen one.

Alright, gotta go. Time to head out for the show!

I thought about taking today off but decided not to since I simply can't afford it. I was hoping I'd get to at least hear the inauguration if not watch it but it wasn't to be. Our computers here at work are iffy at the best of times when it comes to streaming content. Today, I imagine I was #2500 out of 3000 people in the building in line to watch this historic event. But that's okay. In just the last 10 minutes, I've gotten jubilant emails from three people expressing their joy in the moment. I've heard numerous people here in the call center talking about it and the mood around here is decidedly upbeat. There was a viewing party in one of the big conference rooms down the hall and I heard a faint cheer just as our new president was sworn in. What a great day for America. Finally, W isn't president anymore. Finally, we can hopefully get some pride back in our country. Finally, the "old boy" political system isn't center stage anymore. I have no illusions that just because Obama is president now, all will be sunshine and roses. Things are still pretty bleak in our country. We're still fighting two wars. The economy is still in the basement. Unemployment is high and people are still having to make some tough financial choices. My partner and I are still second class citizens. But, the pall of shame that has blanketed this country for the last several years is lifting. We are looking forward to having a smart, articulate president that we can look up to instead of the embarrassment we've had for the last eight years. There is hope in the air. Yesterday, a black man had never been president. Heck, yesterday a Catholic had never been vice president. It gives me hope in our country and the belief that one day we'll all be equal.

This will be the last bit of space I will waste on George W. in my blog. He is gone! Finally! He can take his cronies, his lies and deceit, his ignorance and stupidity, his arrogance and isolence and hit the road. Hopefully, since his false Texan persona is no longer necessary, he'll leave my state as well. Go back to Connecticut where he's from. Good riddance to bad rubbish. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Adios, you slimy bastard. I hope history isn't kind to you. You've earned the title of worst president ever. May you wear it forever.

Okay, I feel better now. I hope the rest of you do as well. It's a new day in US. A day to be proud.

Pictures from day five

We woke up the next morning once again awed by the scenery. Unlike the times before, we had no idea what surrounded us until the sun came up. Twelve Mile Delta is kind of a bowl surrounded by mountains on one side and the river on the other. We had tucked ourselves into a nice little alcove that was semi-private. I took advantage of the camp shower we brought and luckily finished up only moments before a guy went jogging by towards the trailhead we didn't even realize was there.

( Read more... )

Pictures from day four

Waking up the next day and being able to take a hot shower was heaven! I mean, really, I totally take running water, and hot water for that matter, for granted. It's not something I even think about until I don't have it. For the last two mornings, we'd had to get clean as best we could with mostly chilly water. Standing under the hot water jets that morning was the best! And putting on clean clothes! Yay! We were also excited because this was the day we were going to Milford Sound for the ferry ride and we were both looking forward to that.

( Read more... )

Pictures from day three

The next morning we woke up to one of the most beautiful vistas I've ever seen. We popped open the camper door and the entire cove and beach were laid out before us. The wind was whipping a bit on top of the hill so it was a little chilly but it wasn't too bad. The surf was up, though, and there were about two dozen surfers in the water. Oh that water is cold too! Having grown up with the Gulf of Mexico just down the road practically, I have gotten very used to warm oceans. I still find cold oceans odd even though they are more "the norm" than the warm water oceans.

( Read more... )

Pictures from day two

We woke up November 19th to a much more beautiful campground than we had originally thought. The darkness had hidden the flowers all along the stream and the full extent of the meandering stream itself. Off in the distance were snowcapped mountains all around us. Parked a ways from us was what looked like a weird cross between an 18-wheeler truck and a caboose. I'm not sure if it actually moved or if they lived there.

( Read more... )

Pictures from day one

November 18th we had to drag ourselves out of bed early because we had a flight to catch. We'd stayed up way too late packing because we had waited way too long to start packing in the first place. Shannon and I are both serious procrastinators, lol. Shannon's flatmate, Brendon, gave us a ride to the airport. It was right at rush hour so it took forever. We began to think we wouldn't make it in time.

( Read more... )

Shannon and I got back to the States on Friday and I've been back at work now for two days. It was so weird getting back to my old life but with Shannon a permanent in-person fixture now. Weird in a fantastically wonderful way, lol. Being able to interact with her in person instead of on camera is awesome! I was bad about not posting the account of my last trip so I took notes this time so I could write a good blog about it all. There's several days worth so it'll be several posts. I suppose I'll just start at the beginning.

( Read more... )

I just had the most astounding realization. The president-elect of the US is only 6 years older than I am! For the first time in my life, the president is from my generation. I am.....well, I'm just speechless. Wow! I don't know if I feel good about that or really old suddenly. I'm used to the president being "the old guy." Hmmm...

My mom sent me this and I thought it was hilarious.

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning uphill... barefoot... BOTH ways. Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it! But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter! With a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and fuck it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like call waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!And we didn't have fancy caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600 with games like Space Invaders and Asteroids. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen...Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove... Imagine that!

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.

You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd

Yesterday, I had some time to kill so I went to the Starbucks at 7th and Pike. They are one of the stores with the new Clover coffee system. I was really excited because I had heard such great things about Clover coffee but hadn't tried it yet. The woman behind the counter was awesome and really made me see again why I like working for Starbucks. We really have some of the best people around working with us. Anyway, I had a cup of the Kenya something-I-can't-pronounce and it was WONDERFUL! A truly spectacular coffee experience. Yeah, I know, I'm a big geek. I don't care. I love coffee and that was the best damn cup of coffee I've ever had. Of course, it was probably the most expensive too at $3.95 for a 16 ounce cup. Good thing I get the employee discount, lol. It was totally worth it though. I certainly won't buy it everyday but for a treat sometimes, I'll definitely be back.

One of the things I love about learning history is finding out what people were doing in this spot 100 years, 500 years, 1000 years ago. It fascinates me to learn about these people, long dead now, who walked the very streets I'm walking now. Or maybe they weren't streets but goat paths back then. Or maybe it was just a vast virgin forest that had never seen humans before. I think it's cool to think about these things when I'm trecking along.

( Read more... )

There is very little more disgusting over the phone than listening to someone eat. The slurpy, chomping sounds, the wet smacks, GROSS!!!!! It's the main thing I hate about a job talking on the phone. Do these people have no manners?!?!? Yuck!!!!!

I bought a bicycle last week. Yes, I know, I can hear all of you saying, "Amy? On a bicycle?" Yes, Amy on a bicycle. I'll admit I was reluctant to do it. I'm a large girl with a very large backside and the thought of trying to perch said large backside on a teeny, tiny bicycle seat was a bit daunting. But the desire to have a smaller backside and to be more mobile than my feet and the bus can provide, I bit the bullet and bought the bike.

( Read more... )